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20 Best Witcher 3 Characters

Arguably the best thing about The Witcher 3 are the characters upon which the game is based. A great script brings good characters to life, and these – in my opinion – are the 20 best characters in the game.

There may be spoilers ahead…

1. Geralt of Rivia
I can’t talk about the best characters in The Witcher 3 and not mention Geralt. He’s the reason why the game is so good… For a mutant with no emotions, he sure knows how to emote. Geralt is tough, sensitive, and curious, with super Witcher senses to help him see things others cannot. Geralt‘s a natural detective. He’s an alchemy master. And a master of two swords. Like all Witchers, he’s sterile (and therefore cannot have children – the same as sorceresses), but does have an over-developed libido. Geralt is a wise, old monster-killer, but only kills monsters if they’re a threat to humans.

2. Zoltan Chivay
No-nonsense dwarf friend of Geralt and Dandelion. Known for his rather fruity language and willingness to help out in a fight. He’s the conduit for many of Geralt‘s quests in Novigrad.

3. Yennefer of Vengerberg
Sorceress who likes to wear all black, and smell of lilac and gooseberries. A powerful and confident woman with a dry sense of humour. Likes having sex with Geralt on a life-sized, stuffed unicorn.

4. Ciri
Her full name is a bit of a mouthful (Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon), so her friends call her Ciri. Or Fiona… A child of the Elder Blood, Ciri has unimaginable powers, even though she looks like a normal 21 year-old young woman. Her character in the game is somewhat fragile, and the basic aim (if you want the good ending) is to shore up her confidence, and boost her spirits, at certain key points in the story and by allowing her to do things by herself.

5. The Bloody Baron
Aka Phillip Strenger. He’s a wife-beater, so he’s hard to like, but there is also a conflicted, human side to The Bloody Baron. What is interesting is that The Bloody Baron‘s shocking quests were predominantly written and directed by a woman. And The Bloody Baron questline will go down as one of the greatest moments in RPG history. In fact, it already is doing.

6. Triss Merigold
American redhead sorceress Triss is an old flame of Geralt‘s and is the alternative romance option to Yennefer. Although the game really does want you to choose Yennefer. Triss is a very likeable and strong character, though. In my opinion.

7. Yontek
The village idiot from Lurtch who managed to turn all the other villagers into… Well, you’ll have to look that up yourself. Yontek‘s Cornish accent makes him an affable and memorable village simpleton. It’s a pity he doesn’t get involved in more quests.

8. The Pellar
The Pellar always talks about himself in the third person – The Pellar does. He can protect against evil spirits, sells decent merchandise, and has a dark secret to uncover. Question over his relationship with his goat.

9. Johnny
The Godling who helps Geralt in Crookback Bog. A sparkling personality, full of delightful dialogue, and also the key to unlocking certain parts of the story. And, if you kick the other Godling (Sarah) out of the house in Novigrad, then she’ll become companions with Johnny during the quest “Bald Mountain“, and you can talk to them again.

10. Uma
Won in a card game by The Bloody Baron, Uma is a deformed short person who becomes central to Geralt‘s search for Ciri. Does someone else lie inside Uma? If so, who?

11. Gert Borel
Velen‘s very own Covidiot. Gert Borel doesn’t think it’ll happen to him. Until it’s too late… A sad story. Like all of those who deny the existence of something that later claims their life…

12. Cerys an Craite
The young Skellige queen-to-be is feisty and interesting. Initially I thought she was a little immature (with her incessant questioning about Yennefer), but later I grew to like her and think she’s a good, grounded ally. I did wonder why she and Geralt didn’t get it on, though… Probably out of respect for her father and Yennefer.

13. Madman Lugos
Madman Lugos is some light-hearted comedy relief in Skellige, attached to a number of different quests. Every time you meet him you’ll hear the most obscene profanities, but if they make you laugh like they did me then you’ll be getting your money’s worth.

14. Whoreson Junior
The only real ‘bad guy’ on this list, and – to be honest – I don’t even know why. He is a horrible c**t, maybe marginally likeable at times, but his only real purpose is to give the player some payback. Which is probably why I like him.

15. Shani
A combat medic friend of Geralt‘s, who participates in the Hearts of Stone quests Evil’s Soft First Touches, Dead Man’s Party, A Midnight Clear, and Whatsoever a Man Soweth. She’s funny and sensitive – quite lovely actually – and has a memorable post-quest ‘goodbye’ scene too. Aaaand… you can play play her at Gwent at the very end of her questline, which is easy to miss.

16. Vlodimir von Everec
The ghost of Olgeird von Everec‘s brother, Vlodimir introduces a hilarious alternative version of Geralt, when he possesses him during the quest Dead Man’s Party.

17. The Little Flint Girl
A little girl selling drugs on a street corner in The land of a Thousand Fables. You have to beat her at Gwent if you want the “good” Blood and Wine ending.

18. Marlene de Trasmatara
In Blood and Wine, if you rescue the Wight during the quest “La Cage au Fou“, then it will transform back into a person again. That person is the kindly and softly-spoken Marlene de Trasmatara, who you can choose to rescue after the quest is complete (if you don’t rescue her, what kind of person does that make you?!)

19. Olgeird von Everec
The main character in Hearts of Stone sounds like he’s got a Lancashire accent, so maybe he’s from Manchester. Possibly Bolton. A clever and fearless man, lost in a world of despair. Like a lot of people from Bolton.

20. Iris von Everec
Iris von Everec‘s story is probably the saddest in the entire game. Unlocking her secrets in the quest “Scenes From A Marriage” will undoubtedly leave you pondering the meaning of life. And death. Well, mainly death… Iris is beautifully voice acted by Lu Corfield, and – to be honest – I’m kind of a little bit in love with her… Iris, that is. It’s a pity she’s dead, though. Oh well. Move on, Geralt. Move on.

21. Jutta
Also: an extra. The guilty pleasure of Jutta, from the quest “Iron Maiden“. Beat her in combat in the arena and she’ll sleep with you. Which is a nice little (big?) boner-inducing bonus…

Published by Mallo

Writer and screenshot enthusiast. Ex-PC Zoner.

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